A Recent Conversation

Dear Friends, and Fellow Mothers,

I recently received a comment on my post about "Sharing the Importance of Motherhood" and feel the need to share it here on my blog, in a prominent post all of its own.

I do not wish to embarrass or be unkind to the woman who posted her comment, so I am choosing to keep her name anonymous.

I also want to publish my response to her because our comments are a good example of the debate and conversation that we, as Mothers in Zion, are having with the modern world on the subject of traditional motherhood.

Here's the comment from Ms. C.:

I just found your blog and I am sure my comment will be rejected. I was raised LDS, married in the temple and finally at the age of 26 decided enough was enough. I am a divorce attorney (GASP!), happily remarried to a nonmember (double gasp!) and left the church and its idiotic teachings long ago. I would love to know the percentage of women that follow this method of thinking are physically or mentally abused or whose husbands cheat on them (I promise it is more than you think). Women can have it "all" and are just as good, if not better mothers, because they can balance and multitask. I pray for the unsuspecting girl that stumbles on your blog (I did through a link from a friend's blog) and actually think what you are selling is worth buying. Women who know, know that they are worth more.

Here is my response to her comment:

Dear Ms. C.,

I chose to publish your comment here because I want to be fair, but also because I feel that your chosen words are a good example the voices out there in the world that seek to belittle the important work that the righteous mothers in Zion do.

I can also hear the hurt and anger in your words, and want you to know that our Heavenly Father loves you, and that His plan of happiness is the only way that we can find true joy in this life. Of course, we all have the choice to accept or reject God's plans for our lives, and we can choose how we respond to the challenges we each face. I can only imagine the pain you have experienced in your life that has brought you to this place of bitterness.

Are there members of the church that abuse their spouses? Yes; men AND women, both. But that is the same in ANY church, in all races and cultures, and among ALL people. Blaming the church for abusive situations is neither fair nor accurate.

When we-- men and women-- choose to follow Christ, we are not choosing the easy road. But His "yoke is easy" and His "burden is light" when we follow Him with a sincere heart, and a humble spirit.

"Women Who Know" know that selfishness NEVER can bring happiness. Only when we serve in the most intimate, humble way, (changing diapers, washing little faces, kissing little owies, dating our husbands, losing sleep, and being willing to sacrifice ALL) do we find the joy and peace the Savior has promised.

My worth and reward can not be seen by those in the world. To modern society, I am a chubby mom with "too many" kids who is crazy enough to homeschool and blog about traditional motherhood. But *I* know-- through my own extensive experience as a mother-- that the work of a mother is the most rewarding and sacred work any woman anywhere can do.

Ms. C., I urge you with love to someday find a quiet moment and go to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him if He's really there. I know it's difficult beyond anything else in the world. But if you can let down your wall of pain and resentment for just a moment, and go to Him with a broken heart, I know that He will hear you, and envelope you in His love.

I believe there's a reason I felt prompted to post your comment. YOU ARE LOVED. May the Lord bless you in your search for truth and happiness.

Love,
Rachel

Ms. C., I want you to know that I respect and value you and your courage to post your comment. Thank you for being willing to share your voice with me and my readers today. While I disagree with your conclusions, I also know that you are a daughter of God, and He loves you. I offer my hand in love and friendship. Please feel free to e-mail me any time.

Love,

Sharing the Importance of Motherhood

"Picking Wildflowers" by De Scott Evans

I am so excited about the way the ideals of traditional femininity and motherhood have recently begun to grow and spread among LDS women! I attribute this awakening to our wonderful general Relief Society President, Sister Julie B. Beck.

 In the March 2011 Ensign magazine, there is an article by Sister Beck called "Teaching the Doctrine of the Family". The article has been such a breath of fresh air for me! I am excited to have these ideas to teach my children about how to defend the traditional family, gender roles, and the importance of bearing, nurturing, and teaching children.

Here's an excerpt from Sister Beck's wonderful article:

"As I meet with young single adults around the world, I ask them, 'Why does the First Presidency care so much about you and provide so many resources for you?' These are some of the answers I get: 'We are future Church leaders.' 'We need training so we can stay strong.' 'Our testimonies are strengthened in our seminary and institute classes.' 'We need to meet other great Latter-day Saint youth.' 'We are the hope of the future.' I have rarely heard, 'So I will someday be a better father or a better mother.' Their responses are generally about self, because this is the time of life they are in."

"Nevertheless, parents, teachers, and leaders of youth need to teach the rising generation the doctrine of the family. It is essential to help them achieve eternal life (see Moses 1:39). They need to know that the theology of the family is based on the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement. They need to understand the threats to the family so they will know what they are fighting against and can prepare. They need to understand clearly that the fullness of the gospel is realized in temple ordinances and covenants."

Relief Society General President, Sister Julie B. Beck

There are some other AMAZING talks from Sister Beck, as well. Here are a couple that especially have inspired me:

• Daughters in My Kingdom  

"Myths and misperceptions regarding the strength, purpose, and position of Latter-day Saint women abound. Prevailing myths imply that we are of lower importance than men, that we are generally sweet but uninformed, and that no matter what we do, we will never be enough to be accepted by our Heavenly Father. As the Apostle Peter said, there are “false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them.”

•  Mothers Who Know  

"The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). ¹ However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children.

•  "And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit" 

"A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently."

And in circles of LDS traditional women bloggers, there are also some WONDERFUL posts that have both inspired and strengthened me in my efforts to spread inspiration and encouragement to other women. The following is a list of favorites from great women I admire very much:

Inspiring posts by Deanna at Being a Mother Who Knows:

• A Look At Old-Fashioned Modesty
• Walking to Zion: Restoring Gender to the Family
• Recovering the Lost Arts

Insightful posts by Misty at The Misfit Cygnet:

• A Call for Retrenchment
• Countering Sexualization in Society: Two Ways to Turn the Tide
• Countering Sexualization in Society: That Our Daughters May Be As Cornerstones

Great posts by Cocoa at Chocolate on My Cranium:

• Why Homemaking?
• Wordfull Wednesday: Beauty
• Wordfull Wednesday: Caring for Your Family

And an encouraging post about dressing up by Courtney at Latter-Day Homeschooling:

• The Mom Uniform

I hope you are able to take some time to read Sister Beck's talks, and the posts by the dear ladies above. They have given me hope and encouragement in my efforts to become the wife, homemaker, and mother I know the Lord wants me to be. Enjoy!

The Blessings of a Good Husband

This short video is so heartwarming! Our husbands make so many little sacrifices for us that we never know about. I thank the Lord for a righteous husband who serves me and my family every day.