Be the Change...

There is a fallacy that is too commonly accepted in today's society-- the idea that one person can "change" another.

We each choose, moment by moment, our reaction in any situation.

We can face struggles with fear, or dogged determination.

We can be so focused on our spouse's weaknesses, that we forget we have a multitude of our own; or, we can stand back and look at a situation honestly, and ask ourselves how WE can change.

The great Gandhi said, "BE the change you wish to see in the world." We can choose to stand, arms crossed, and insist that the other person is the one who needs to change. The result of that experiment would manifest itself rather quickly in the form of hostility, resentment, heartbreak-- but never can produce change, love or respect.

I'd like to recommend here a series of books on relationships by the Arbinger Institute. My favorites are: "The Bonds that Make Us Free," and "The Anatomy of Peace." These books are about saving relationships, and seeing that when we try to push, and force someone into changing, we are deceiving ourselves. What we are really doing, is creating more of the same problems we are trying to fix!

I highly recommend the above books for healing hearts, homes, and relationships. We can choose to be "right", or we can choose to heal that most important and precious of relationships.

Gandhi was one man who changed an entire nation, and brought a world super-power to its knees with love, unselfishness, and peace in his heart. Surely, we can put forth a little effort to have peace in our homes and marriages.  

"BE the change you wish to see in the world."

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