"The almost impossible thing... is to hand over your whole self to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead."
~C.S. Lewis
Dear friends and sister-mothers,
As you probably noticed, the OFM blog has been pretty quiet for a few months. I have been going through a rough year with one of my children, and it has made me feel like I have nothing to contribute to other mothers.
The enemy has really filled my head with all kinds of bad thoughts about myself, my family, my abilities and all my efforts:
"Who do you think YOU are?"
"You have no business trying to help other moms."
"You can't even take care of your own kids."
"You have nothing worthwhile to contribute."
Once upon a time, I thought I could not write. I had some discouraging things happen in school that made me believe that I would never be a good writer. But then I started blogging and gained some confidence. Next, I took part in a class where we had some writing assignments, and I started to really fall in love with the writing process. And as a mother, I found that I needed to write to record my ideas and feelings about motherhood in order to process everything I was learning.
After that, I wrote with confidence and enthusiasm! I had a wonderful time, and even attended a writing conference, and talked with a publisher about the possibility of writing an OFM book.
And then, LIFE happened.
It might sounds silly, but motherhood suddenly became not just difficult, but impossible to succeed in. And so why would I want to write about it any more? Realizing that I could do everything "right" and still "fail" made me lose hope in many things.
Luckily, my circumstances also turned me more fully to Christ. I found that I needed Him more than ever. And I found that I never, NEVER can do everything "right"! Only HE can.
I have been really inspired by some posts my son's "mission mom" has shared here, here, here, and here. She has reminded me that I can apply the Savior's Atonement to my life. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I need Him every moment of my life. We ALL do! None of us can make it without Him.
And if that's what difficult times teach me, then I am willing to go through them. Because I have my Savior on the journey with me, I can deal with whatever life throws at me. And I can write about it here. So, thanks for still reading.
Love,
You are not alone! Just the other day I said to my husband "I'm weary of being a parent; I'm ready for them all to be gone on their own." We know we have important children because Satan works so hard to claim them as his own. It is a fight everyday to not give up and give in. The Savior and His Atonement are there for us to rely on for strength and protection. Let's press forward with steadfastness in Christ! Much love to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rozy! I really appreciate your kind words and support. We moms really need each other! {{Hugs}} back atcha! <3
DeleteMama Rachel, My heart is right there with you. I don't know if you remember me, I am Shelly in Ephraim, Utah, and we corresponded a few years ago about our homeschool group's little play "A Christmas Carol." Anyway, my ideas still sit in my mind and heart because life happened here too. I always believed that if we taught our children well, but also explained to them the why's of what we taught them as well as give them the tools to know for themselves that what we teach them is right and true, that it would all be wonderful. Well, one of my sons started making some pretty dangerous, self-destructive choices and broke my heart. I tried to remind him who he was, pleaded with him to remember his patriarchal blessing and the amazing counsel, promises and blessings in that precious blessing, but to no avail. Our relationship spiraled in a terrible direction for quite a while, until I learned that my job was to love him unconditionally. He is still on a heartbreaking path, but my relationship with him is growing strong again, he married a sweet girl and they are struggling together with choices and their consequences, but they know I love them and that I know they know that they have a Loving Heavenly Father and an elder brother, Jesus Christ who also know and love them. It is a really mother heart, heartbreaking journey, but you know where the true source of strength and joy come from. YOU, Mama Rachel, ARE AN AMAZING MOM and I have followed your blog for about 8-9 years. Sometime, actually many times, when my heart was so heavy and sad, I would read a post you had written and I would feel much better. I miss your posts and I check often. Your family is Beautiful, Wonderful, Talented, Inspiring and Amazing; YOU are a Huge part of that and your light shows in every aspect of your Motherhood, Your Womanhood and your Wifelyhood! You are in my prayers!!! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI miss you blog and you must keep writing. From my own mothering experience and life has taught me that all most all mother's have at least one child that is difficult. I certainly did. I too felt discouraged with my mothering. Christ is the gift; and he can get us through anything.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, prayers and hugs for you. Keep up the good works and write your experiences.
Oh Rachel! You are one of those mothers I will ALWAYS look up too. I have often thought about how I can become better like you. You are an amazing mother. So full of love. So full of wisdom. Life is really hard and I am so thankful you share what you learn from those experiences. You are a hero even when you don't feel like it. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you share your experiences. Sending support and prayers!
I love your blog too. Knowing you have struggles and aren't perfect only puts your readers at ease. It gives you more to share with us to encourage us, not less. You are amazing.
ReplyDelete