LAST POST: You Are Still "In Process"

PREFACE:

Dear OFM Readers,

I am sure you have noticed that I have posted less and less as time has gone by, and maybe you have forgotten that I ever blogged on a regular basis.

As happens to all of us, we have seasons of life that ebb and flow. My season on life where my focus was completely on my children and family has moved into something different. And while I miss those days, and ache for the time when my children filled my world, and I filled theirs, I also know that the path I am now on is inspired by the Lord, and is His new plan for my life.

This past September, almost one year from the day my husband suffered a terrifying stroke (Don't worry-- he completely recovered!), I embarked on a terrifying and exciting journey of personal education by going back to college to earn a degree in Music Education with a Choral Emphasis. It has been extremely difficult and busy, but also hugely rewarding.

Though I am gone to classes 5 days a week, I do still homeschool my children, but now they are more independent in their studies using the Robinson Curriculum. We all miss spending so much time together, but I am also grateful that they have each other, that they have graduated older siblings at home to help them, and that their dad works remotely from home. So far, it is working well, and I am so grateful that they are still able to be home together.

This last post is something I wrote recently to a sweet young mother who was feeling overwhelmed, and who was struggling to see the greater purpose in the day to day drudgery of life. My heart went out to her, and I realized that my work encouraging other mothers has come to an end, for now. But I wanted to share those final thoughts with all of you, dear readers, who have stuck with me through these nearly 13 years of my blogging here at Old-Fashioned Motherhood. I hope that this post, and the posts I have written over the years, will continue to bless and uplift other mothers who have a desire to give God their best efforts in mothering their own children.

With so much love,

Mama Rachel

Dear Overwhelmed Young Mother,

Sometimes we just need a change of perspective. 

You ARE in the middle of getting an education— the most difficult education we can get in this life. 

As a mom of 13 children who is coming out of the other side of the child bearing years (my oldest is 26, youngest is 5), I can tell you that it is a difficult season of life, but it doesn’t last as long as you think it will. 

Is it exhausting? 

Yes. 

Those years of giving birth, nursing babies, changing diapers, and potty training blur together as I look back, and yet I miss it. I got good at it. I learned a TON! I became an expert on that phase of life, and then it all shifted and changed. The level of difficulty went up, but in a completely different way. 

But it is ALL needed. 

It is ALL part of God’s plan for His daughters who are called to be mothers. 

I know you get tired of hearing things like “This too shall pass,” or “It goes by so fast!” 

I know you feel like you are drowning. 

I know that the daily tasks can become heavy drudgery some days. 

I know that you don’t know who you are anymore. 

But please consider that you are still in process. 

YOU ARE STILL IN PROCESS. 

God is forming you into the amazing Queen and fantastic woman He plans for you to become. 

Motherhood is the refining process. You are existing in your melted form right now. The dross is separating from the pure silver. 

It hurts. It’s uncomfortable. It looks bleak and never-ending. 

But you are still in the flames. Your beautiful, shining, solid form is coming. 

YOU, the real you, is coming soon. She is being formed RIGHT NOW. 

Hold on, trust the Master, move through the fire. 

You will be DAZZLED by who you become.

Love,

Mama Rachel

"Be not conformed to this world"

Me and my youngest "babies" being silly

When my husband and I were married as a young couple back in 1992, we were committed to each other and to the covenants we made in the temple, but we did not fully understand the Lord’s plans for our family. The Proclamation on the Family had not yet been created, but I am grateful that we began our marriage with a firm conviction that parenthood was the most important work we could do in this life. We both had strong testimonies that “Children are an heritage of the Lord”, and we knew we were on the right path.

Interestingly enough, we began to feel confusion about when we should bring our first child into the world when all of our friends-- who were active, faithful members of the Church-- greatly discouraged us from starting our family while at college. Yet the Spirit had begun prompting my husband and I to not prevent our children from coming in the first few months after our wedding. We were young, and began to wonder if those around us might know something we didn’t. Luckily, when we discussed our future family as a couple, we both knew that the promptings we were having were from the Lord. And so, we prepared to become parents and I became pregnant right away.
A few years later, after having one miscarriage, and then two small children immediately thereafter, President Gordon B. Hinckley presented “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” in General Conference, and we felt so grateful that we had followed the impressions of the Holy Ghost and had ignored our seemingly-sophisticated friends. As the early apostles told the followers of Christ in their day, we learned that we should “Be not conformed to this world” and that “the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God”.

The important convictions we gained from the Lord’s reminders found in The Proclamation were vital to our family right after our first son (our second child) was born. My new baby was six weeks old, and I was driving to my postpartum appointment when I reflected on my nurse-midwife’s question regarding our plans for birth control. As I prayed to the Lord on that short drive, the Spirit impressed my mind strongly with the thought that the Lord needed to send another baby to our family very soon. This surprised me-- our baby was brand new! But the prompting was unmistakable, and we decided to once again put our family size in the Lord’s hands. (We had our third child, a boy, almost exactly thirteen months after our second child.)

The passage on welcoming children into a family found in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” has resonated in our family again and again over our 27 years of marriage.

“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”

Becoming parents is an integral part of our Father in Heaven’s eternal plan for His children. We have been given a wonderful opportunity in this life to become more like Him by having and raising children. Elder L. Tom Perry expressed the importance of marriage and family this way:

“What the restored gospel brings to the discussion on marriage and family is so large and so relevant that it cannot be overstated: we make the subject eternal! We take the commitment and the sanctity of marriage to a greater level because of our belief and understanding that families go back to before this earth was and that they can go forward into eternity.”

I believe that welcoming children into our eternal families is one of the greatest blessings that the Lord can give us in this life. Elder D. Todd Christofferson emphasized the importance of establishing families in God’s plan:

“A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God’s plan to thrive—the setting for the birth of children, who come in purity and innocence from God, and the environment for the learning and preparation they will need for a successful mortal life and eternal life in the world to come.”

“For [God’s] work to succeed to ‘[exalt us] with himself,’ God ordained that men and women should marry and give birth to children, thereby creating, in partnership with God, the physical bodies that are key to the test of mortality and essential to eternal glory with Him.”

Our advice to our children as they have grown up and started families of their own, is for them to follow the principles and doctrines found in The Proclamation on the Family:

“We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.” 

“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

Our adult children have sometimes voiced their concerns about the difficulties of bringing children into our troubled world today. My husband and I have done our best to encourage them and remind them of the blessings we receive from following the Lord’s plans for our lives.

President Hinckley’s encouraging words are a reminder for us all:

“I see a wonderful future in a very uncertain world. If we will cling to our values, if we will build on our inheritance, if we will walk in obedience before the Lord, if we will simply live the gospel we will be blessed in a magnificent and wonderful way. We will be looked upon as a peculiar people who have found the key to a peculiar happiness.”

We are so grateful to have been blessed with thirteen children in our family. We acknowledge that not every family should be as large as ours, and we firmly believe that family size and timing is between couples and the Lord. But we have also learned firsthand that the Lord will qualify those He calls to be parents. We can trust in the promptings we receive! Our Father in Heaven will always bless us for following His plans for our lives.


With love,
Mama Rachel

References Used

• Scripture: Romans 12:2 “Be not conformed to this world”
• Scripture: 1 Corinthians 3:19 “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God”
• Scripture: Psalms 127:3 “Children are an heritage of the Lord”
• Proclamation: “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”
• Proclamation: “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.”
• Talk: “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” President Gordon B. Hinckley
• Talk: “The Plan and the Proclamation” President Dallin H. Oaks
• Talk: “Why Marriage, Why Family” Elder Todd D. Christofferson 
• Talk: “Look to the Future” President Gordon B. Hinckley
• Talk: “Why Marriage and Family Matter-- Everywhere in the World” L. Tom Perry

How We Transitioned from Unschooling to Structured Homeschooling

Now and then I enjoy participating in some homeschooling Facebook groups. Yesterday I was asked a question about our family's transition from unschooling to structured homeschooling. I thought I would share my response here, since some of my readers might be interested in how we changed our homeschool six years ago.

Question:

How did you transition [from unschooling to a structured homeschool] and do you feel like your kids are thriving? Do you feel like they still love learning?

My Answer:

Looking back, it happened gradually. First we added a set time where we gathered together for a short learning time. We held a Charlotte Mason-type meeting where we did copy-work, worked on memorizing a short scripture, listened to a scripture story while doing some crafts or coloring, sang a song together, read something about the subject of the day (history, art study, music study, geography, or Shakespeare), and then I read aloud from a classic novel. The short lessons that Charlotte mason espoused REALLY helped us, and I tried to keep it light and fun.

My kids LOVED it, and my older kids watching me told me that they wished I had done homeschool with them life that. I was SHOCKED, to say the least! I thought they loved being in charge of what they studied, but they made it clear that they wished they had had more guidance during their homeschool years. As they became adults, their self-esteem plummeted when they discovered all that they had never learned.  That helped me keep going and working hard to TEACH the kids still at home.

 After a short time, we added an online math program, and I learned how to keep transcripts. We are still not yet strong in science, but so far we have made a good start with Nature Study (Botany!) and Astronomy. We plan to start some online science classes in the Fall. 

My kids do still love learning, but they now feel more strongly about setting goals and feeling confident in what they know and are learning. My older kids (3 "graduated" as unschoolers, two graduated with more structure and completed transcripts) still tell me that they love how I homeschool now, as opposed to how things used to be.
As a side note, my younger kids still have a more relaxed learning structure, but we are no longer unschoolers. They read a LOT, and do some writing and math every day. We watch science videos, and they do chores and science experiments. Then as they become teenagers, we add more academics and more structure. They take classes outside our home here and there. Their self-esteems are thriving because they KNOW where they stand academically.

Some may take the ACT/SAT and go to college, and some might not. But now they have OPTIONS, where my older kids feel they are "too dumb" to go to college. They are charting a different course, and I don't actually CARE if they go to college or not, but it makes me sad to know that they do not feel they are capable of thriving there, if they wanted to go.

I feel a great deal of peace with how things have worked out, in the end. I have regrets, but my older kids hold no grudges. When we know better, we do better, right? We are moving forward and utilizing all the wonderful resources that are out there. 

I am happy to answer any questions my readers may have about our journey in homeschooling. I want to be open and honest about our failures as well as our successes because I am so grateful for all that I have learned through this process!

Below are some of our favorite resources that have helped us along our way.

Favorite Resources:

• A great resource for LDS Charlotte Mason practitioners: https://www.ldscharlottemason.com/
• Learn to make your own transcripts at www.thehomescholar.com 
• My kids' favorite math program to date: https://coloskys-math-academy.thinkific.com/
• Another great online math program: www.ctcmath.com
• The LDS online school my kids will start taking some classes from this Fall: www.ensignpeakacademy.com
• A fantastic resource for free high school courses: https://allinonehighschool.com/

I wish you all the very best in your family's homeschool journey!

Love,

Mama Rachel

Striving for Excellence

"Men [and women] cannot... rest content with mediocrity once they see excellence is within their reach." ~Thomas S. Monson

Content with Mediocrity

For most of my life, when things started to get difficult, or I got tired of doing or trying something, I would often use the phrase "that's good enough" and move on to something I already knew I could succeed at easily.

Honestly, many things do come fairly easy to me. I'm not "great" at them, but I'm pretty good, and so I've been content to sail along in ease, without difficulty. I always told myself that I was just easy-going by nature, and didn't need to push myself to do more, or be better.

But over the years, I have come to recognize that this attitude is not always a positive thing. Yes, there are times when the mentality of being content with what we are is healthy. However, I know that deep down inside, I was just in the habit of being lazy.

• Ten years of piano lessons, and I felt fine just being mediocre and quitting to do something I liked better.
• After singing in groups for most of my life, I decided that I was better at acting, so I dropped music and focused on theatre.
• As a homemaker, I did the bare minimum for years-- and my "bare minimum" standards were pretty pathetic, I admit.
• After trying my hand at homeschooling for a while, I got really stressed out and decided to "unschool" instead for several years.

Now, before anyone thinks this post is devolving into a self-bashing article, I just want to clarify that I eventually worked for excellence in some of the areas I mention above. And I'm very proud of the hard work I have done.

But I also want to acknowledge that there are decisions to give up that I wish I had not made. And I want to learn from the regret I feel and remember it when I start to give up on difficult things.

A Lesson in Excellence

When I was a young mom with four or five kids, I used to get together with a dear cousin of mine each week to do some crafting. (Hi, Nat!) We would laugh and talk, while our kids played and made messes.

It was a wonderful opportunity to do something creative that could not be undone at the end of each day. (Here's looking at you, laundry...)

I will never forget when my cousin taught me a very important lesson during one of these "Sister's Days," as we called them.

We were making invitations for the baby shower of another cousin's wife. The stamps, colors, and papers we were using were so adorable, and we were having a great time. We had been working on the design for quite a while, and I wanted to be done because I knew we still had all the cards to make. I looked at what we had put together, and felt that it was "good enough." So I told my cousin that it was cute, and I thought it would work just fine the way it was.

But she was not satisfied with the design, quite yet. She felt it still needed a few more details, and so we tried a few more things.

I watched in astonishment as we completed the final design. It was beautiful-- professional, even! The end result was so much better and more beautiful than I had envisioned it could ever be. It was not just "cute," or "fine," or "good enough." 

It was excellent.

Many years have gone by since, but I have never forgotten how it felt to create something with all my very best efforts, until it was truly finished.

The Principle of Striving for Excellence

Okay, so a little card for a baby shower is not an earth-shattering creation. But the lesson of the principle of striving for excellence CAN be life-changing.

Why would I remember that experience all these years later?

Because the lesson had begun to change my heart. It gave me a little glimpse into the potential we each have to become better. To create excellence.

Fast forward to this past year. After one terribly failed choir audition the previous year, I made it into the greatest choir I have ever listened to in a live concert. 

I was so excited to sing with such an amazing group, but also a bit terrified. I had a damaged voice from a very long illness, and I had not sung anywhere but in church for several years. Would I have what it took to participate? After support and kind words from friends, I dove in head-first, determined to give it my very best efforts.

Oh, man, was it HARD!  That first rehearsal, I felt like I had been trying to drink out of a firehose. The level of professionalism and the quality of my fellow singers, the pianist, and the director took my breath away. I knew I had to step up my game.

Over the months that followed, I discovered that my desire to excel and succeed was flowing into my every day life, as well as into my musical efforts. I found that I could not experience so much beauty and merit during our rehearsals and then go home and just do the bare minimum there.

It occurred to me that the care of my home and family was a divine calling from God. My singing with the choir was just a rare gift that I knew would only last for a short time.

I wanted to finally become the homemaker that God had been leading me to be for many, many years of learning and struggle.

And because I had experienced putting my heart and soul into praising the Lord through some arduous musical efforts, I knew that I was ready and able to step up my game...

Effort Equals Excellence

Am I a "perfect homemaker" now? 

Um, no.

However, I go to bed every night with the satisfaction of knowing I have given my family, my home, and the Lord my very best efforts at creating a comfortable, ordered environment.

I am still busy, yes, and there are days when I don't complete all-the-things. But I have PEACE, because I am not giving up before I should, and saying "Oh, that's good enough." 

So what am I doing differently?

• I usually go to bed later than everyone, so I can tidy up the kitchen and living areas before I go to bed.
• I do my very best to put things where they belong, rather than setting them down somewhere convenient. I avoid saying, "I'll move that/put it away later."
• Every thing has a home, and if I find something that's "homeless," I find it a home, and declare it out loud, so everyone knows. (That's not to say that they'll remember, but speaking it helps me remember better...)
• I do something with the laundry every. single. day.
• I never go to bed without loading and running the dishwasher. (I know this is probably a no-brainer to most homemakers, but I'm a slow learner, remember?)
• I don't keep things I don't need-- I am unafraid to throw away or donate things that do not truly bless our family. 
• I clear off cluttered surfaces I see in my field of vision.
• I have made a schedule for cleaning throughout the week, and included my kids in it. (New post on that coming soon...)
• I remind myself that I AM THE MOTHER HERE. There is no other. I'm all my people get! If I don't do it, who else will? 

And the biggest thing:

• I have come to see that I am telling my family how much I love them by the work I do in our home. 

We mothers are serving out of the same kind of sacrifice and perfect love that the Savior has for each one of us-- freely given, without expectation of appreciation or reciprocation.

And that selfless sacrifice is truly excellent.

With love,

Mama Rachel

P.S.-- In case you might want to hear something from the wonderful choir I got to sing with last year (and had to leave when we moved to another state *sniff*), check out the video below:

Old-Fashioned Homemaking Rules

Photos are from the U.S Farm Security Administration photo archives found at http://photogrammar.yale.edu/ .

Now that we have moved to our new home, and we are getting settled in at last, I am excited to get back to posting about the homemaking systems I use to keep my home running smoothly. 

These are the rules that have proven the most successful for me in my personal homemaking journey. It is my prayer that they may help you in your Divine Calling as a homemaker, as well!

Homemaking Rule #1 -

Keep Routines: 

Keep your morning and evening routines EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Your routines are the blessings that keep your home running smoothly and your kids feeling secure, even in difficult times.

Homemaking Rule #2 -

Dress the part: 

Get dressed and prepared every day for your job as a homemaker-- you should be prepared to leave home at a moment’s notice. And alway, ALWAYS wear an apron when cooking or cleaning! Your wardrobe will thank you, and you will feel “official” in your “mother uniform.”

Homemaking Rule #3 -

Prioritize: 

1) Serve the Lord, and follow His guidance for what you should do and when you should do it.

2) Nurture family relationships. Your husband and children should be your highest priorities, second only to the will of our Heavenly Father.

3) Care for the home. Yes, serving your family is very important, but make sure that the way you care for your home doesn't harm the relationships that you have with your husband and children. 

Homemaking Rule #4 -

Tidy Constantly: 

Though the work of keeping a home tidy is really never “done,” cleaning up after ourselves and others as we move through our days is the secret to a truly “tidy” home!

Homemaking Rule #5-

Plan Ahead: 

“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” 

Plan menus, holidays, days, weeks, and even years using planners or apps-- the choice of "how" you plan is up to you. But please PLAN! Your life will run more smoothly, and you will have peace in your heart if you are prepared.

Homemaking Rule #6 -

Don't Procrastinate: 

Whatever it is that you know you should be doing, DO IT NOW. Putting things off until later causes regret and frustration. 

Homemaking Rule #7 -

Remember Your Divine Calling: 

NEVER forget that God has called you to be the mother of your children, and the keep of your home. The humble service you give to your family every day is a way to show them that you love them, and that their happiness and sense of well-being is important to you!

Homemaking Rule #8 -

Let Go of Guilt: 

Every day, every moment, we can begin again and improve! Don’t allow feelings of discouragement or guilt to bring you down and keep you from trying again. Satan uses those tools to keep us from becoming the mother and homemaker God wants us to be. If you stumble, ask forgiveness from your family and from God, and then move forward with a “brightness of hope.”

We can do it!

Never forget that the Lord will give you the strength and ability to care for your home and family in a way that is pleasing to Him. You do not have to be just like your neighbor, and you don't have to follow the world's standards for homemaking. If you seek the Lord in prayer, and follow the answers He gives you through His Holy Spirit, you WILL be the successful homemaker that He has called you to be! 

With love, Mama Rachel

Routines and Habits

There have been numerous studies done and articles written on the power of daily habits and routines. Our mothers and grandmothers had daily habits that helped them work through the duties of the week. In this modern, busy world, why would we ever try to go through our days without habits and routines?

“We are all mere creatures of habit. We think our accustomed thoughts, make our usual small talk, go through the trivial round, the common task, without any self-determining effort of will at all. If it were not so– if we had to think, to deliberate, about each operation of the bath, or the table–life would not be worth having; the perpetually repeated effort of decision would wear us out.” ~ Charlotte Mason

I want to keep this post short and sweet, but I also want to share a few things that have helped me create daily and weekly habits to get through the busyness of life.

Daily Routines

It is not a difficult thing to sit down and make a simple morning and evening routine for yourself and/or your family schedule. It will take a mother about 10-15 minutes to think through what they'd like to accomplish each morning upon waking, and each evening before bed.

Now, mamas: BE KIND TO YOURSELF! Don't make these lists so long and ambitious that you could never complete them! Be practical and realistic about what you can do every morning and every evening.

To see what my personal morning and evening routines look like, check these printables out here:

• Morning Routine
• Evening Routine

Tools for Getting Things Done

My husband, teenagers and I are all having a LOT of fun working together to get things done by using the website and application at www.habitica.com .

Essentially, it is a role-playing game that is also a way to get things done and solidify habits. I have been AMAZED by how much I get done each day-- and how little I forget these days! 

I have been known for spacing appointments and important events in the past, but using technology has really helped me to be more dependable.

Along with Habitica, I also use the alarm on my phone and Google Calendar reminders to help me remember the commitments and appointments that I have scheduled.

It feels really good to finally be a mother that is where she needs to be when she needs to be there!

So, yes; the irony of this "old-fashioned mother" using modern technology to finally become organized is not lost on me! 

(ahem...)

One Less Daily Decision

If you've been following me on Instagram or Facebook, then you have seen my posts about our new family color-coordination.

I stole the idea from a wonderful homeschooling mama on YouTube named Andrea Mills. I found her idea right at the moment when I was overwhelmed with all the laundry of our family of 15. I had had enough!!!

(insert angry emoji here.) 

But instead of throwing everything away and starting over, I went through EVERY. SINGLE. ITEM. of CLOTHING. that each person owned, and I decided on a color for us to all wear for each day of the week. (And yes, that was partially based on what colors everyone already had.)

I did end up getting rid of lots of clothes-- six garbage bags full! But each person has two shirts in each color, and a few pairs of pants. I keep everyone's (except the grown-ups) shirts in the boxes you see above, and we fold them Kon-Mari style, so everything fits beautifully. 

PLEASE NOTE: If my teens are doing their own laundry, I do not require them to match with us. Some of them do, just for fun, but I only do the clothes-matching thing for the people whose laundry I have to clean and fold.

This idea has REVOLUTIONIZED the way I do laundry. I only have to do ONE load a day, and the colors of the loads is timed perfectly according to who wore what on which day.

It's been working beautifully for us!

To close...

You don't have to do all the things that I have suggested above to create good habits in your home, but I love sharing what has been working for our family, and I hope these ideas might inspire you to try something new to establish habits and routines in your home! 

HAPPY Homemaking,
Mama Rachel

Thoughts from the Hearth: Week Two

"The Storm" by Adolphe William Bouguerea, 1874

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Hello, wonderful readers! I am happy to be back sharing some of my random thoughts from this past week. I hope all is well with you and yours!

On my mind-

Popular feminism.

I am beginning to see it rearing its ugly head again in the rising generation, and it is deeply troubling to me.

With the recent "Women's March," I have seen an upswing in the amount of young women who are blaming the universe in anger as "victims of oppression." I have even seen grossly ignorant statements comparing the "struggle" of today's women with the persecution of Jews during World War II, and prejudice against blacks during the civil rights movement.

Honestly, the above thoughts made me sick to my stomach, and caused my blood to boil.

Only truly uneducated, UN-OPPRESSED generation could ever make such a claim. The literal suffering, pain, and bloodshed of MILLIONS can in no way compare to what the modern woman "goes through."

There are no bodies hanging in trees after vicious lynching by mobs. There are no cargo trains filled with sobbing men and women traveling to death camps. There are no people being forced to "sit at the back of the bus." There is no starvation or victimizing of human beings in our country or in the Western world.

But there IS death. There IS murder of the innocent. There ARE millions of lives being snuffed out every year.

And that depraved work is being promoted and carried out by the very women who are crying "victim."

And that is why it makes me ill to see vicious feminism gnashing its teeth and crying "oppression" when THEY are the oppressors.

I have said enough on this subject for today, but I am sure it will come up here again. I just know that I feel called to defend the Family and the divine calling of Motherhood with all that is in me.

That's why this blog was created ten years ago, and I have no plans to stop now.

Grateful for-

My husband is so very good to me, and I am grateful beyond words for the loving care he gives and the sacrifices he makes to support our large family.

I am thankful that I have rarely had to spend my time outside our home working to help provide for all these people we are raising. I know that the burden he carries is heavy, but he continually rises to the occasion every morning as he leaves us to work "by the sweat of his brow" to give us what we need and desire.

I know that I often take this daily sacrifice of his for granted, and I want to acknowledge and show appreciation to him more than I have lately.

Thank you, thank you, Honey. You make our comfortable lives possible, and I honor you.

Pondering-

In the last few years there have been people I admire and love abandoning their faith.

And it breaks my heart.

But it has also made me examine my own heart and standing with the Lord, and brought me to my knees before God in prayer.

With every fiber if my being, I hope that we each realize how VITAL it is that we give sufficient time each day to studying the scriptures and praying to our Father in Heaven.

Approaching each day without those two things is tantamount to going out to fight in the most challenging and deadly of battles with the most skilled enemy without using any protective armor, or without even a weapon.

We CANNOT face life in the modern world without the strength that the daily nurturing of our faith provides.

We MUST NOT go into our daily battles, unprotected and unarmed.

Organizing-

I am LOVING the color-coding we are doing with our family's clothes! For the first time since my first born child was an infant, I have a good grasp on what clothes each of my kids own and wear. For so many years I have been drowning in an inordinate amount of laundry to wash, but now I have a complete inventory of every article of clothing that each person has to wear.

I made a spreadsheet that mapped out each day of the week, and then chose a color for each day. I gave the boys some choices on a couple days, since they don't love pink or purple. Ha! When I specified each color, I decided that the colors did NOT need to be exact. That helps a lot.

This has NOT been a quick process, and I have had to do a little bit of shopping at the thrift store to replace some of the worn out, old clothes that I got rid of. Everybody who depends on Mom or big sister to do their laundry has matching shirts, and then I just make sure each person has enough pants, shorts, or skirts to wear with those shirts.

My teenage daughters are not participating, because they do their own laundry, and don't have so many clothes that overwhelm our laundry process. Plus, they are a bit more "fashion conscious" than the rest of us.

Just in case you might be interested, here is a list of the colors we wear:

• Monday- Red
• Tuesday- Pink OR Gray
• Wednesday- Purple OR Brown
• Thursday- Green
• Friday- Blue
• Saturday- Black and/or White

Sunday is not assigned a color, though I did go through and purge a LOT of my little girls' Sunday dresses. With five little girls under age twelve, you can imagine how over-loaded we were in the dress department!

We're all enjoying matching one another-- it feels like we're all on the same team. And it makes it easy for me to pick my kids out in a crowd, so that's helpful, too. (Notice that we're all in Thursday green for our trip to the park in the photo further down in this post....)

The last things I need to purge/organize-- and hope to finish this weekend-- are the pajamas. Wish me luck as I face that mountain...

Creating-

You know how I was working on my Shakespeare curriculum, and was sooo excited about finishing my Table of Contents? Well, something went wrong and IT ALL DISAPPEARED from off my computer.

... (cue screaming here)...

Yes, technology can be a blessing, and it can also be a curse at times.

SO!

I am going back and looking at everything again, and trying to take in the idea that all my work is gone. I have decided that there MUST be a reason? Maybe I was on the wrong track, and need to re-think it all again.

I choose to see this as a happy accident, and a new chance to start again.

Reading-

I recently read Sarah Eden's "The Kiss of A Stranger" and it was good Regency fun, I can tell you! It was just a fluff read, but I need those now and then. Sarah Eden is the ONLY modern Regency writer I can tolerate. For the most part, if I want to read a good Regency romance, I'll just look to Miss Austen! But Sarah has done enough research, and writes in such a way that I am never jerked back into the modern world until I close that last page.

My other favorites by her include "Seeking Persephone" and "Courting Miss Lancaster" (my personal favorite of hers).

Maybe one of Mrs. Eden's books will help you endure the last of winter this year.

Homemaking-

Reducing our family laundry by six garbage bags has been so freeing and helpful! I can now do just ONE LOAD of laundry a day, people!!!

MONUMENTAL.

If you missed it, I go into more details above in the section on organizing. ^^^ 

Songhaven Homeschool of Fine Arts-

Homeschool Outdoors

This week's beautiful weather simply called for some outdoor reading and learning time. So on Thursday, we packed up lunches, put all our homeschool supplies in a box and the kids toted their backpacks down to the park with me.

We are really enjoying reading "A Little Maid of Massachusetts" by Alice Curtis for our American History read aloud. The kids get so involved emotionally, sitting at the edge of their seats, and yelling at the characters. Lots of good lessons for kids in this one so far, all contained in the backdrop of the American Revolutionary War.

We're also reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" together, since there are some among these younger ones that have never heard the book. Reading C.S. Lewis NEVER gets old for me! He never fails to inspire, and I love sharing his writings with my children.

Scripture Study-

I have started reading the LDS Doctrine and Covenants over again this month, and I'm really enjoying "hearing" the voice of the Lord as he counseled His imperfect servants at the very beginning of the Restoration of the Gospel.

One of the scriptures that stood out most to me this week was this:

"Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end. Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work." ~Doctrine and Covenants 10:4-5

I don't know any mother who does not need the support of heaven in this all-important work. I know that I cannot do it alone!

I hope that we are good to ourselves and to others, and do not compare ourselves to other women who seem to "have it all together."

Ladies, NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.

We are all just trying the best we know how.

And so we need to take care that we do not "run faster or labor more than we have strength." We can rely on the arm of the Savior to make up the difference when we feel we are falling short of where we want to be. If we trust in Him and ask Him for His help, he can fill in all the gaps we might be worrying about.

Truly, He is there for each one of us.



Something to Share-

My husband is one of the greatest cooks I know-- no joke! I have been spoiled by this since the day we got married. (I am keenly aware how lucky I am, ladies!)

I just want to share a yummy treat recipe he came up with for our kids the other day:

Yummy and Easy Chocolate Shake

Made from all the cheap ingredients you probably already have at home

• 2 cups whole milk
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• pinch of salt
• 2 Tbsp. cocoa powder
• Enough ice to reach the 32 oz. marker on the blender

Blend and serve!

Final thoughts-

I have had a couple experiences this week that reminded me how important it is for us to stand up and defend Families, Traditional Motherhood, and our roles as homemakers and nurturers.

This is a stand worth taking, ladies.

My hope and inspiration for creating this blog has always been with the aim of taking that stand. And I believe it is more important now than ever.

Thank you for standing with me!

Love, Mama Rachel

Strong and United Families

Even when we have struggles, when a child goes astray, or outside difficulties cause despair, we can still be united in love and kindness as a family. 

In fact, it is the LOVE we have for each other that carries us and brings us together as a powerful force for good.

If we daily repent, keep praying together, share the word of God with one another in order to keep the Holy Spirit in our home, and then love UNCONDITIONALLY, we can still have an STRONG, UNIFIED family!

Even though I have have a struggling son, he knows that we love him and that he is always welcome in our home. He continues to be an integral part of a family who needs him.

And that is making all the difference in the healing of our relationship.

Love,

Mama Rachel

So Many Great Things

Halloween at Dad's work party

 It has been quite some time since I last updated this blog with all the personal goings-on at our house, and for that I apologize. 

Honestly, I have been busy this last year trying to figure out what the Lord has planned for me, and what I should be focusing on. 

With our baby now being over age two, and no more babies seeming to appear on the horizon-- not to mention learning to navigate the world with adult children-- I have been doing quite a bit of self-examination. 

Here are some of the questions I've been pondering:

• Who am I, now that I am moving out of the "having-babies" years?
• Which of my too-many projects should I focus on?
• How do I give up on some of the projects I have started?
• Should I really try to turn any of my projects into businesses?
• Which ones?
• Which projects should I abandon?
• Why do I make my life harder on myself?! (HA!!!)

Great Thing #1

In the meantime, I have had to put off answering some of these questions, because our oldest son recently had something GREAT happen to him:

Down on one knee...

He has been dating an adorable girl that he has grown to love, and just over a week ago, he asked her to marry him!

Amanda + Brennan

The wedding is set for January 13th in the Gilbert, Arizona LDS Temple. YAY!!! 

*much rejoicing all around*

Thus, planning a wedding has become my newest, most immediate project. Funny how the Lord answered that prayer for clarification, huh?

Great Thing #2

My darling 18 year old daughter

My second daughter (fourth child) recently finished something very difficult that she has been working on since she turned twelve years old. In our church, our young ladies in the Young Women's Program can earn an award similar to the Eagle Scout for boys, but the goals and achievements are focused more on their relationship with God, and their self-improvement in many areas of life.

She received a medallion necklace charm that she can wear throughout her life to remind her of God's love for her, and all she has learned and become in the past six years.

This is an enormous accomplishment for our daughter, and we are so grateful for the good she is doing in her life!

Great Thing #3

So grown-up!

Last week, our sweet eighth child turned ELEVEN YEARS OLD!

I can hardly fathom this fact, but there she is above, looking more pretty and grown up than ever.

*sigh*

She didn't ask for any toys on her list, but I couldn't bear to have one of these last few birthdays before teenage-hood happen without toys, so I did buy her a doll.

And she loved it!

*whew!*

Great Thing #4

My husband and I at Halloween

This last "Great Thing" has been affecting me even more personally than all those other great things above, and it is the most difficult thing for me to talk about.

Ever since I became a teenager, I have struggled with my weight and my self image.

And finally this past year, I have been personally working through my Church's twelve step program because of my addiction to food.

It is very difficult for me to share that so publicly, but at the same time, it is silly for me to pretend that I have not had a healthy relationship with food for most of my life.

After spending the summer working through the first few steps of the program, I heard a podcast interview with a lady named Susan Peirce Thompson. 

After hearing her talk extensively and scientifically about food addiction, my husband and I did all kinds of research on her and her program to help people overcome that addiction. He was ready to begin adding Bright Lines to his eating habits, but I was still not ready.

After a month of watching him, pondering, praying, and studying the guidelines for health found in our religion's Word of Wisdom, I decided to set some Bright Lines for myself.

Though we have not purchased a program, or using any special ingredients or products, this new way of eating has been going VERY well for both my husband and I; he has been tracking his weight, and has now lost more than forty pounds! I have not been tracking my weight, but I have had the brain fog lifted from my mind, better health and looser clothes and even shoes. 

I know we have a long was to go, but it has been so helpful to support each other on this new path. Even more importantly, we have found that as we follow the Lord's plan for our health, and ask for His almighty help in prayer, we can literally overcome the food addictions that have taken over our lives for many years! 

I am excited to share part of my "Great Journey Out of Addiction" here with my wonderful readers, as well as the other "Great Things" we have coming up.

Much love, my friends!

Mama Rachel

Rise Up

We live in a day and age where goodness is not championed.

We live in a time where the virtue of women is not defended and protected.

We live in a world where motherhood is undervalued, dismissed, and even ridiculed.

So what can we do???

We can stand up for the good, the praise-worthy, the lovely, and the divine.

We can proudly live virtuous lives, and show the world what a woman with strong standards looks like.

We can defend our homes and our children from evil influences and loose morality.

We can treat the service we give in motherhood as the divine calling from God that it is. 

We can nurture and influence our children to live righteous lives, and to not excuse wickedness.

We truly CAN "rise up to become the women of faith and courage our Father in Heaven needs us to be."

And we can begin TODAY.

With love,

Mama Rachel

Focus on JOY!

"The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives

and everything to do with the focus of our lives."

~Russell M. Nelson

 I don't know one mother in the world who has not struggled.

Not one.

We all have down days, times of discouragement, lost dreams, and frustrations.

But as mothers, we also have amazing experiences that are filled with JOY!

So, where is our focus? Do we dwell on the negative, or do we find the joy in the here and now?

And then, when we ponder on what CAN be, do we have the vision to see the bliss and happiness that is to come?

It's all about HOPE. It's the hope we have in the eternal that can bring us even more joy than we are now capable of understanding.

And because of that bright eternity, we can have joy TODAY.

Rejoicing with you,
Mama Rachel

Eternal Influence and Power

"There is eternal influence and power in motherhood."

~Julie B. Beck 

In the busy-ness and chaos of life, I often forget that the work I am doing in my home is divine.

Not a difficult thing to forget-- amiright???

As I think about the work I am doing, my mind first goes to the images of smeared toothpaste on bathroom mirrors, changing dirty diapers, piles of laundry, and dishes that need to be done.

AGAIN.

But then I also remember the blanket forts, the scribbled notes that say "I love you," the snuggles in the morning, the way my four year old son will let only me kiss him, the eyes of raptured attention when my children beg for me to "read one more chapter!"

My work may seem small, ordinary, and unimportant. But I am building nations, cultures, societies.

The world.

Oh, yes. I have an influence.

I have the power to change the world.

I am a mother.

Love,
Mama Rachel

 

Priorities as a Mother

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." 

~Thomas S. Monson

I am embarrassed to admit that I too often have a weakness for being caught up in the unimportant and brushing aside the things that are important to my children.

Today I need the following reminders:

• My children are not distractions from my work-- they ARE my work!
• Nurturing my family includes the mundane tasks as well as being present for the pivotal crossroads of life. And both are my calling and mission from God. 
• God is counting on me to love and raise these children to become the people that he needs them to be.
• My efforts in my home are ETERNAL. My efforts with my projects and business are only temporary.

TODAY I will focus on the hearts of my children, rather than the scope of my influence out in the world.

TODAY I will be the mother God and my children need me to be.

TODAY I will keep my focus and priorities where they should be.

I know I can do it, with the Lord's help.

Love,

Mama Rachel