"The almost impossible thing... is to hand over your whole self to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead."
Dear friends and sister-mothers,
As you probably noticed, the OFM blog has been pretty quiet for a few months. I have been going through a rough year with one of my children, and it has made me feel like I have nothing to contribute to other mothers.
The enemy has really filled my head with all kinds of bad thoughts about myself, my family, my abilities and all my efforts:
"Who do you think YOU are?"
"You have no business trying to help other moms."
"You can't even take care of your own kids."
"You have nothing worthwhile to contribute."
Once upon a time, I thought I could not write. I had some discouraging things happen in school that made me believe that I would never be a good writer. But then I started blogging and gained some confidence. Next, I took part in a class where we had some writing assignments, and I started to really fall in love with the writing process. And as a mother, I found that I needed to write to record my ideas and feelings about motherhood in order to process everything I was learning.
After that, I wrote with confidence and enthusiasm! I had a wonderful time, and even attended a writing conference, and talked with a publisher about the possibility of writing an OFM book.
And then, LIFE happened.
It might sounds silly, but motherhood suddenly became not just difficult, but impossible to succeed in. And so why would I want to write about it any more? Realizing that I could do everything "right" and still "fail" made me lose hope in many things.
Luckily, my circumstances also turned me more fully to Christ. I found that I needed Him more than ever. And I found that I never, NEVER can do everything "right"! Only HE can.
I have been really inspired by some posts my son's "mission mom" has shared here, here, here, and here. She has reminded me that I can apply the Savior's Atonement to my life. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I need Him every moment of my life. We ALL do! None of us can make it without Him.
And if that's what difficult times teach me, then I am willing to go through them. Because I have my Savior on the journey with me, I can deal with whatever life throws at me. And I can write about it here. So, thanks for still reading.